Sugar, Spice, and Everything Nice


 My last photo set works. It was Saturday and Sunday.




You know, they say girls were made of sugar, spice, and everything nice.

I wish I were made of them, but I'm more like adventure, fine beers and no fear.

I never intended to be something in this world whether it is successful, rich, or whatsoever. Five years ago my definition of success is buying a Gucci bag before 25. I did. Did I feel successful? Not at all.

I work my ass of since I was 13 because I don't wanna grow up poor, and my definition of poor is forced to take decisions that I don't want to because of financial problem. For example: going to cheaper school that I hate, riding the cheaper car that I'm ashamed of, or never travelled anywhere for the sake of next semester's tuition fee. I start teaching when I was 13. Selling EO services. Online shop. Until eventually I become a freelance graphic designer at the fourth semester until now.

And this is my fault, this is the truest definition of greed.

After my fourth semester I went to college while working and guess how many clients I'm dealing with along with 23 SCUs that semester : 7

7 Clients up my butt 7 days a week 24 hours a day

Result: uncontrollable weight gain, no social life, alcohol and cigs as best friend.
Am I proud? no. Where are my friends? Idk. My bank account: secure. My insecurity level: up in the sky.

As I grow older I realise things that makes me happy doesn't always costly 
(although I'd rather cry in a Manolo than H&M shoes)

But it's more about the time that I can't take back. The relationships that I can't fix. The tiredness that never ends. The stress level and bad health that took too long to cure. And believe me honey, I might be only 22 but I've been there done that.

So please, if you're not suppose to work yet, don't. If your parents can afford you, don't work your ass off. 
If you wanna be successful, go to school, took more classes. Took language classes, make up classes (I'll write mine soon!), do shop with your friends, travel, eat food, and spend time with your friends as much as you could.
You'll regret working for the price tag because they'll go on sale, but your time worth so much more!

One

journal


Blogging is never a new thing to me.

 Okay you know what first of all ignore the narcissistic selfie on top, it is somehow mandatory to put a selfie on the first post of your blog.

 Well at least that's what I've been doing my whole life (writing, deleting, and building up new blogs over and over again).

 I have never really quit blogging since 2007 on my teenage rebellious years when all my posts includes my anger and rage towards everyone especially my family (of course). And then I will edit some selfie and ridiculous photos, make tacky layouts and header via photo editing app because back in the day I wasn't a designer yet and we don't have instagram or pinterest as references. You, kids these days, are very lucky. Today, I don't know what to eat or wear, I go on Pinterest. I don't know where to go, I go to Instagram. It is basicly real-life mood board. I'm quite grateful to have them by the age of 19-now, but I wish I'd had it earlier.

 Back to blogging, I start a fashion blog on 2009 and it's terrible. Then I write more about personal life. I have always wrote and take pictures to two different site, one is very personal and one is for public mockery (because it's terrible). But as I grow up, guess what, nobody is interested about my life anyway, and better as well write something useful. I used to be a very lost kid with the urge to leave the country, the love for fashion but very overweight (which later on leads to my eating disorder), a complex family relationship, and those that this here and there. Too much excuses. But I have a blog for my own reading. I have a blog for my eating disorder. I have a blog for fun things. I have blogs for everything.

 But today I am 21-two weeks to 22, and happy, and almost graduate and have a decent job. I have all the tools and skills to write another blog unlike when I was younger. If I used to be very active, confident, a serious blogwalker when I was unskilled with terrible taste and awful life, why not now? I read Garance Dore's book and I'm inspired to start another blog. I believe nowadays everyone can be a photographer, a fashion blogger, a writer, an observer, everything else. We have all the tools, we just don't have the urge or the time (in my case, everything).

 So today I decided to write another first posts of my personal blog (which I hope will be the last first post). I will update more frequently, managing to get better at photography, write some product reviews and hopefully curing my perfectionist side because I hate my current theme and consider fixing here and there, though I have a lot of work to do.

 Cheers to the first post!

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